I was fully prepared to sit down and write a blog soon about how I think I've finally gotten into my groove of this deployment. I was driving down the road the other day and thought, you know what I've got a handle on this, and it's only a year. I've done this before and I can certainly do it again. Then out of the blue, just had one of the "those days". Everything makes me wanna cry, I don't know how I'm going to get thru this, I was super depressed all day, and a year seems SO long today.
It's like walking into a door frame. You know its there, but somehow you just can't seem to sidestep it, and BAM! there it is. It hurts so bad you're sure you broke something. And just like that feeling, I know I'm gonna wake up tomorrow feeling so stupid for letting myself 1) not see this day coming eventually, and 2) let it get me down so bad, for a pain I know won't last too long.
Thats just the way deployments work for me. I feel so strong and confident for weeks at a time, and then all of a sudden for no reason I have a bad day and I feel like I'm done for and can't go on, the days feel like weeks, and weeks like months. Then I wake up the next day just fine and in kicking-butt form, which is how I hope I wake up tomorrow.
You're right, you'll feel better tomorrow. It's best to sleep these days off. I've already had one or two like this and they've only been gone 2 weeks. I just hope it gets better.
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